Saturday, October 16, 2010

My Body of Water

I had a really wonderful day yesterday. I met with two of my oldest friends for tea and conversation. Reflecting on our lives over the past ten years and re-discovering our commonalities brought a new light to why we all became friends in the first place.

I am fascinated by relationships, mine and others. What brings us together and draws us apart. I found a quote once that said everyone you meet is your soulmate simply because you have met them. I have always felt a fated quality in certain relationships of mine and often people who are important pop back into my life just when I need them most.

Being "away" so much has taught me to love my friends and family in a more abstract way. I love the idea of these people. I love that they are out there, living their lives and doing what they do. I don't need confirmation of our love, it exists without any definition.

It feels good to love and be loved. Coming back to the city has made me very aware of the true love in my life and I am oh so grateful.


Sydney gave me a 'zine yesterday that's getting me even more excited about Hawai'i. Moonlight Chronicles issue 72 is all about this guy going to Maui for the winter to camp and surf and generally live lightly. Looking forward to doing this myself! With my partner in crime of course...

I'm excited to try surfing, boogie boarding and body surfing. And after our summer at Sapo Bravo I actually feel like my body might be prepared for it. I feel physically strong in a way that I never have before. I am not particularly "body aware" and physical labour has allowed me to start connecting to this flesh machine that carries my consciousness around. I think it will be even more amazing to connect with my body and the ocean at once. Pacifica, you call me. You have been calling me my whole life.

The moon, the tides, and the ocean (as metaphor for emotion) as life themes have been illuminated through my recent travels down the Pacific Coast. I have felt the need to connect more deeply with my lunar nature and resolve my adopted attitudes towards emotional effusiveness. I must embrace myself. I can only change what I can, the rest I must accept and integrate.

Living next to the Fraser River, I formed a relationship with that body of water. She needs a woman's name but I cannot say which name. Just that she is not the "Fraser", she is a salmon mother and a passage of time. She is there and she flows into me.

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